clrmehppygrl's Diaryland Diary

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On Monopoly and Hand-Holding

Last night Jupiter and her husband came over for our weekly weekend get-together. We played Monopoly. I had more fun than I've had in a long long time. I was able to relax for once without worrying about hurting someone by being affectionate to someone else. I wasn't stuck in my head all night beating myself up for something I may have done wrong.

Jupiter and I held hands over the coffee table and it was okay. Her husband and I talked and laughed, and it was okay. My husband and I kissed and it was okay.

If this is what it's going to be like from now on, it will be a lot easier than I had feared it would be.

Of course, I don't know for a fact that everything was okay. No one told me it was, but it seemed it. I hope I'm not wrong. It just felt so nice last night. A little bit like it did before the entire "couch" thing happened. It really was an enjoyable time.

I felt walls just crashing down around me that I didn't even know still existed. I never realized how many walls I have built over the years, even from myself.

Last night was really wonderful.

10:54 am - 2005-09-25

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