clrmehppygrl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Surreality I wonder when the surreality of all of this is going to wear off and when my daily life will start to feel normal again. We've been here since, what, the 10th, at least. 10 days in this new apartment. Over a week in my new job. All these days spent with hubby and Jupiter and the time we all spend together as a family. Nothing feels real. My mind is just NOT grasping a damned thing that is going on right now. I'm so lost in every minute, every moment, every second that passes, that the last one gone by is already a memory. I don't understand this. I'm not the only one that feels this way, I know that for sure. But why is it like this? Maybe because of the suddenness of it all? Maybe the idea that after 3 years of living under my mother's grip, the sudden moving in such a short time doesn't feel like I've paid my dues? I have no idea. I hope it sinks in though, and soon, I don't like the ethereal feeling of confusion that stays in my head all the time. I want to KNOW I'm here and FEEL I'm here and be able to BE here completely and truly. Until then, though, I will just bathe in the love and happiness that washes over me every day with these people around me. Still not sure why I'm here, or even THAT I'm here, but I will appreciate it while I can. 6:37 am - 2005-09-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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