clrmehppygrl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Missing Jupiter Let's start this again. I have already written something that I didn't like. Too cold, too factual, too linear. I'm home now, from Jupiter's place, and this is the last place I want to be. During the drive home last night, it took everything I had not to turn the car around and head back to her. Even my hubby was having a hard time not just doing a U-turn back to them. This weekend I have experienced true and pure bliss. I have discovered who I am for the first time in my life through people I least expected to find myself in. I have laughed harder than I have in years. I've cried and lost myself in pain. I have found a new friend in Jupiter's husband. And I have discovered new appreciation for my own. But above all else, my love for Jupiter is running stronger and deeper than I ever expected it to. Jupiter is beauty, she is passion and she is bliss. She is the one that I had lost, but found again. She is amazment and simple purity. So much happened this weekend while we were there. So much lost in simple facts. All of it a giant blur. The days and weeks leading up to the visit took so long to pass. They took so long to lead me to where I wanted to be. Then when we finally get there, destiny wakes up and hits the fast foward. It went by so fast. I'm still processing it all. There are stories to tell. But right now my heart is too raw to even get near the retelling of them. Beating and bloody, it's so full of love and aching for her touch, that it won't let me recollect everything I want to, just yet. But I will. It was all I could do to keep myself from crying when we left. The sun was setting as I pulled out of the parking lot around their apartment. The day before, she and I found a quiet spot to spread out a blanket to watch the sunset over the water. I can never look at a sunset again in the same way. So, pulling away, the sky casting in oranges and pinks. She was there in the clouds and it hurt to be leaving. I love her to my depths. And right now I miss her more than breath. In all her beauty she invades me. And right now her place is empty in my heart, and it's hurting for her touch. Soon, I hope, I won't have to miss her anymore. Soon. 8:13 am - 2005-08-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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