clrmehppygrl's Diaryland Diary

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Red Means Stop

The signs are all red. Red blood, red stop sign, red means no.

We're not pregnant and I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I mean, I'm relieved that we don't have to go through all of it when we're really REALLY not ready. But at the same time, I was looking forward to another little person being around in 9 months.

I haven't told my husband yet. He's going to be crushed and I know it. I should've never mentioned it to him to begin with, but how could I not? I can't keep secrets from him, not even when it comes to his birthday, much less something that's this huge.

Thank you all for giving me well wishes, even though none of us were sure what the well wishes were towards.

I'll get over this, but I really am a little disappointed. Such is life, I suppose. Onto another day of being of empty womb. I guess I should feel lucky that this is a concern at all. I know some women that pain over the red tide without birth control. My heart aches for them.

The worry is gone now that the certainty has come rushing in. I can focus on my son's birthday tomorrow and enjoy all of the other little ones without anything hindering my mind. I'll be fine.

I just hope hubby isn't too upset. I hate disappointing him.

11:19 am - 2005-05-20

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